Do You Turn The Other Cheek?
The other day something happened that, in the past, would have made me really upset. Mad, sad, resentful, annoyed, something. But for some reason, I didn’t really react, and not because I was trying to be stoic. The normal vein pulsing, stomach-dropping feelings just didn’t present themselves. I’m kind of waiting to see if the other shoe drops, wondering if this sense of equanimity towards the matter could really last. And do I even want it to?
There are different schools of thought on this.
You can practice ahimsa and compassion—see the other person’s suffering, avoid hurting them more at all costs (even if they’ve done you wrong), and all that lofty good stuff. The other? Express your feelings. Don’t bury things. Be hurt, angry, sad, because not only are you entitled to feel a way about stuff, but not expressing it can be damaging to your sense of self, and even to your health.
Typical Pisces that I am, I totally see both sides of this coin! I’ve spent a lot of my life not recognizing how I truly feel, and boy did that behavior bite be in the tush. I definitely believe that owning your feelings, and expressing them somehow to the person who provoked them, can be a healthy thing.
But since I’ve started meditating more of late, I am noticing that I don’t sweat the small stuff as much. I work with an excitable young group, and often feel like the old lady who tells everyone to try to get along. As for this other thing, I just hope that I’m not being self-deceptive, as I once was—but we’re never the best judges of ourselves, now are we?
What’s your take on this? Do you try to be zen in the face of conflicts, or does a healthy dose of expressed anger/sadness/annoyance remind you that your human—and help you move on? The floor is yours, friends.