Were You Raised by Wolves?*
* Hippies! I mean were you raised by hippies. Because I was, and I think that might be why I’m like this.
Remember that scene in My So Called Life when Jordan asks Angela why she’s “like this.” And she says, “Like what?” And he says, “Like how you are.” Great scene! And a fun question to ponder.
As such, I’ve been thinking lately about the genesis of my passion for all the stuff we talk about on this site—the clean living, the health writing, the concern for our tiny burning planet, the love-yourself-the-way-you-are-but-always-try-to-be-your-best-self stuff. And I wonder how you guys got this way, too.
So here’s what I came up with: A list of the things that inspire me to live as cleanly as I can. I can’t wait to hear yours in the comments.
1. My hippie mother. A few years ago, I wrote my mom a thank you note. She’s the original natural beauty, as far as I’m concerned, and she raised me with certain values that I’m really, really grateful for now that I’m an adult. She’s athletic and rarely wears more than a pretty Ilia lipstick and some mascara. She’s never dyed her hair (I have!). When all my friends started shaving their legs and I didn’t yet have any leg hair to speak of, she discouraged me from starting the habit early. (I did it anyway, behind her back, and I still have a scar to prove it.) When it came to meals, our foods were whole, and we ate lots of vegetables and fruit. We didn’t have a microwave or a snack cupboard filled with boxed and bagged treats, though I wished we did. You get the picture. My mom was a hippie. Once the ’80s hit she didn’t look like one anymore, but she was in her heart. And that sort of rubbed off on me.
2. The fact that people get sick. Nothing like cancer to remind you of the delicate nature of the human body and make you care a little more about what you can control, like food, and exercise, and what you put on and in your body. There are a lot of things in life that aren’t fair, and some of them hurt like hell, literally and metaphorically. So I believe in doing what you can. I’m not perfect, obviously, and I still have my vices. But being reminded of the gift of life and the gift of my physical body is a source of inspiration for sure.
3. My lazy thyroid. Back when I was 22 and thought I would live forever, I was diagnosed hypothyroid. This is seriously the least big deal in the world to me; it’s incredibly common and easy to manage at this point. But it was a reminder that, as I just said, the body is delicate, and lots of things can happen to it that you can’t really do much about. So when you can do stuff about it, maybe just do it? So goes my logic.
4. My love of beauty products. Tis true! As I’ve mentioned before, I wasn’t much of a makeup person before we wrote the book. Alexandra and I used to tell people we met at parties that we were beauty writers as a joke. (She did it first; I stole the line and ran away with it.) But I’ve always loved products and DIY (check out “What Was Your Very First Beauty Product?” and weigh in, if you haven’t yet). We used to have beauty sleepovers when we were kids. These were the highlight of, like, life.
5. The community thing. I think this is something women do incredibly well, and we always have. We learn things, and we share them. That’s why so many successful efforts in the developing world, for instance, target women: Whether its sanitation solutions or juicy gossip, we spread around information like nobody’s business!
6. Our swiftly burning planet. Cue the sad trombone. I care about this thing and I worry about it. I know we need big-picture solutions to fix it, but I still think everything we do counts. Care for the world around you as you care for yourself and want to be cared for by others. Or at least try your best?
So that’s me. We’ll make Alexandra do this too, don’t worry. Maybe Rebecca, too. But for now: Why are you like this?
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I can’t imagine why, actually. I was raised by conservative, religious immigrants in the suburbs. And yet, I am none of those. Maybe, since in Slovakia everyone is much closer to where things come from- grow, raise, or gather some of their own food, for ex.- I always felt a close connection to the earth. I’m also ultra-sensitive, so even just the thought of some animals in pain or ecosystems being demolished is maybe much powerful for me than most other people
oh man, my so called life. i may or may not have watched the entire season in one weekend on netflix recently…..
I can’t imagine why I’m like this either! My mom was OBSESSED with products. She couldn’t leave the house without a full face of makeup and perfectly fluffed and dyed hair. we lived only on packaged foods. On second thought – maybe that IS why I’m like this….
I’m kind of obsessive when it comes to things like this. I accidentally fell into veganism a few years ago (picked up “skinny bitch” at a friends and started reading, with no idea what it was about) and it was a domino effect from there. I’m fine being blissfully ignorant, but once I find out what’s actually lurking in my food/makeup/hair products/tupperware/life I freak out and have to fix it. Once I know, i just can’t unknow, I have a really hard time pushing aside the fact that my perfume is effing up my endocrine system. I similarly fell into your book…I stumbled upon a review online and was like “oh crap. i have to buy this and read it and probably throw away all of my products now, and if I don’t, I’m always going to wonder what’s happening to my face every time I smear Clinique on it” Our swiftly burning planet, health, and new love of all things created with whole, amazing, unprocessed ingredients keeps me sticking to it.
Why yes, I do remember that scene. (love Claire Danes in red hair)
This is such an awesome post Siobhan! I will save my comments for my own post, and will start my draft immediately. Such good and important stuff to think about. I can’t wait to read what everyone else says.
Oh, man. MSCL is just as good now as it was when it first aired.
I spent my childhood outdoors in California, and I think that nature itself had a huge impact on me. My parents were not anything resembling healthy – my dad died when I was 14 of lung cancer from smoking/Agent Orange exposure. And my mom has always dyed her hair, wore lots of makeup & was generally dolled-up every day of the week. Plus she cooked Southern-style foods as that is her heritage.
When I started eating a vegetarian diet (which lasted for 5 years) I had a lot of backlash from my family members. That diet was not a match for my body type at all. I gained weight and tore a large muscle. Then I started searching for things to help heal my body.
First I got rid of chemicals in my home and in our foods, and then extraneous waste. Then I started focusing on adding back in good things. I would say that I am the hippy parent at this point. My kids are very well-informed on lots of issues and I am proud of that.
I finally have the tiniest bit of support from my family members, but, to be honest, I have grown to the point that it no longer *really* matters to me what their opinions are as long as I am on the right track!
I’m like this because I truly believe it is healthier. I don’t like things that smell fake. Or make my skin itch. I like to look good but also feel good. And the latter is way more important. My mom is by no means a hippie but she was the kind of mom who only let me eat granola and carob until I was like 6. Sugar cereal was the treat of slumber parties. She made fruit rolls for me from scratch. I like to think my obsession with natural comes from that. Which isn’t a bad place for it to come from. However, now that I work in the industry I know that natural isn’t always perfect either. There has to be a balance, one that protects this burning planet as best as it can, as you say.
My biggest impetus is that I’d like to someday have kids and I know too many people my age that have had issues conceiving; one of the doctors I work with told me this is a growing problem in young women due, largely, to environmental toxicity. I also want to give my babies the chance to come out happy, healthy, and pink, with all the right parts.
My second reason is that I’m a lotion and potion junkie, and I figure that the sheer volume of products I use as compared to other people (Iike aspartame in mouse trials, compared to human iced tea sweetener) tips the scales, and I should make sure that I’m absorbing mass quantities of the good stuff.
Ironically, since I read your book, my product and makeup use has been halved and I look better. Yeay us!
I had health issues when I was young (chronic stomach aches at 5, acne at 7, etc etc.) and my wonderful wonderful Mom would stop at NOTHING to figure out what the cause was and how to make me better. Much to my dismay, this meant cutting out all the delicious cheetos and choco-tacos….and making the switch to organic foods and pure everything that is humanly possible. I can’t imagine living any other way. I honestly love it! My wallet doesn’t appreciate it though. HA
Basically, it’s in my blood to obsess. And we are evangelists(love that term!) too–once we find out about something, EVERYONE must try it!
omg, i LOVE that show. jordan catalano was the ultimate high school crush.
This is my first time posting. I’ve been enjoying the blog for a few months and this post seems to be a great one to start with.
I used to joke that I was raised by wolves, but actually I was raised by two hippies in NH. My father was an environmentalist and my mother home-schooled me and my four siblings while working various jobs until we were all grown and high school or college, then she started teaching special needs kids with her own custom program. ,y parents were both very intelligent and ahead of the curve in terms of healthy living and healthy planet. We had very little meat, dairy or refined things of any kind growing up. We conserved electricity in every way possible, we even had solar panels. My dad would find and hide all the beauty productsi stated obsessing over (starting around age 11 or 12), much to my disliking but I now understand better why he did it (not just because he was a strict control freak while also being a hippie environmentalist). So, I grew up very aware of natural products, whole foods, saving the planet and so on. I never fully rebelled against it, but it did make me an outsider in my small conservative town and it encouraged my naughty interest in beauty products. I also ate lots more junk when i was an athlete in college. I’ve always been very particular about having whatever is considered “the best” when it comes to products, sometimes natural sometimes not, but over the past few months, after a couple years of having skin issues (after having almost none as a teenager; I’m 28 now), I’ve tried to go back to all-natural products, giving up dairy. My diet has otherwise been very healthy for years now. I feel like I’ve obsessed about my skin and in so doing done more damage than good and now I am trying to re-tabulize it (not going well, but trying to stick to natural, non-toxic and be patient). Now that no one is hiding my products from me, my choices are coming more from instinct and common sense. We are so succeptible to incredibly unhealthy products and behavior that are never questioned in our culture, that I’m feeling more and more strongly about trusting the instinct to go back to nature. Sadly, despite my parents being incredibly healthy eaters, non-smokers and non-drinkers, my dad died of brain cancer very suddenly and unexpected two years ago. We can only control so much. As if I needed another reason to detox my life (there are so many, especially living in a place like LA), losing my dad was another impetus to be as proactive as possible when it comes to my health.
I intended to keep that brief…oops!
Great post! My parents were hippies, too — built an A-frame in 1963, made granola, huge garden, no processed
foods, no sugar, no tv…and no make-up until I was like, 17? I was adopted, but I think perhaps nurture might be beating out nature here…
I think I’ve always been a bit of a skeptic when it comes to beauty, although I have fallen prey to trends or prettily packaged products, too. I loved the NMDL book and I love the conversation on this site, especially the kindness, enthusiasm and knowledge. In full disclosure I am not completely clean (Guerlain kohl and bronzer, shampoo, microderm) but I also am conscious of when I make that decision. I’m very conscious of what I put in my body, I do yoga daily, I have chose a career that is in line with my values and I choose my friends and what/where I spend my time on very carefully. I’m flawed like everyone else, but I do try to educate myself and be aware of what I am putting in (and on) my body.
Wow this post really got me thinking. I had an unusual mom in that she was older than my friend’s moms more relaxed and independent. With no mom she got her values from two very strong women. I always wondered why I had the instinct to conserve, recycle and pay attention to how we effect the planet. I think that my mom quietly instilled much of this.
I have to agree with Amy, that once I stumble upon something I have to go in full tilt. Damn ignorance can really be bliss. It is funny that one thing leads to another. I never thought I would lean towards vegetarian but find to many paths lead to it. My parents are even started to climb on the cleaner products and more organic plan too. I guess influence can work both ways. Great post.
I wouldn’t say I was raised by hippies, but I think a certain amount of DIY was more the norm in my parents’ generation, so I picked up on some of that (having a garden, making yogourt, sewing clothes, etc).
My health obsession mainly comes from doing health research. I question most things related to health and generally find out how little knowledge we have. The upside is that I am critical and careful; the downside is that I am suspicious of fire retardants in the mattress I am lying on right now…
And don’t get me started on our burning planet, sigh.
My parents really care about health issue even since I was kid,but I’ve never known that cosmetics also have something to do with health issue.Now that I learn about it,I see a big picture about it.That all those harmfull chemicals,greediness,synthetic pesticides,destroying nature,killing animals(for cosmetics lab experiment,for brushes),oh…they’re all connected! Just soo wrong!! I just simply want to get away out of it now..
1) My mother couldn’t breastfeed me, so I started to take cow milk formulas very early. I developed gut issues
2) Raised in Russian countryside, I was eating healthy (from my grand-s garden and nearby forest) in the summer, but quite poorly during the other months (my parents cooked mostly meat/ pasta+potatoes+dairy)
3) Diagnosed with low thyroid function at 10, started to take hormones. Developed bad acne by 12.
4) Fell victim of beauty/ fashion magazines, and was trying every diet possible to get rid of non-existent extra weight. Tried every topical solution for my acne. By the age 16 I was mostly eating plain rice+soy sauce+occasional chicken.
5) I think it was after I went to the US, I learned about healthy food choices, and started to implement some of them in my life – I started to care about what I eat, what I drink and what products I combine. still I was eating too much sweet stuff
6) now I’m 24, I’m doing yoga, I’m eating meat 3 times a week, and only combined with veggies, no pasta no rice, sweets – only dark chocolate. I love vegan and raw options when I have money. I feel better than when I was a child, even though I still have some problems with my health – my joints are not too healthy and my hair is very brittle (both from thyroid apparently), but I’m working on it. And yes, I became much more optimistic person. I believe that changing attitude towards life struggles is not less important than changing your diet.
I grew up in a spaghetti-o’s, shake & bake for dinner, twinkie in the lunch box kind of house. We were never an unhealthy or overweight family, we just ate a lot of processed junky food. It never occurred to me that it mattered until my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. After she passed away, I started to think about how we lived and what sort of products we used and foods we were eating. My mom was gorgeous – she always had her hair regularly colored, she was religious about her skincare routine, she never left the house without lipstick…but all of the things she used were regular mainstream products. Your book was my a-ha about products which I very quickly transitioned, and then I researched food like a mad woman and cleaned up that area of my life too. And while I don’t necessarily believe my mom got cancer as a result of these things, I cannot help but wonder if it didn’t contribute somewhat to the severity (who the hell knows, cancer is such a crapshoot).
I feel like I’ve posted it a million times on this site but I feel so much healthier, happier and just plain better all the time now. And my future children will say their mom and dad are total hippies who fed them vegan whole foods and kept their bathroom stocked with crunchy toiletries.
I was raised by a boiler! You know – throw veggies in a pot and boil them until they are mush. (Even more sad, since she grew them herself. Bet they would have been delish had she not tortured them.) So, I’m still struggling with eating right because I hate cooked veggies, so I don’t get as much variety as I should.
The one thing she did get right is *not* treating every little thing. So instead of running to the doctor for every sprain or sniffle, we walked it off with some homemade chicken noodle soup. (One food that benefits from the boiling method). So I’ve fallen prey to a lot fewer quick-fix drugs and makeup than many of my friends.
I think a lot of stuff contributed (home cooked food, anti-consumerist left-wing father), but no one in my house was a hippy.
I blame the yoga. I started… wow, 17 years ago now, and as I slooowly made my way deeper into yoga, I became more & more aware of my body. How things felt when I used/ate them. So just as slowly, I have been converting to a fairly clean lifestyle. My guy of 16 years has been watching, & slowly adopting as well, to the point that he calls ME out on toxic things now! That’s fun. :P
The really odd thing is that even in the depths of my powdered & dyed & chemically bathed goth years, I knew this was where I would end up. I just didn’t know when.
This is a good question, and one I’ve wondered about!
I’ve noticed that a lot of the wonderful skincare lines were developed by people who either themselves or a close relative had some type of health care crisis that made them want to look more closely about what products they were using, particularly on the their skin. (For example RMS, Tata Harper, Odacite, to name a few)
And it seems like a number of people who comment here have very sensitive skin.
But myself, I have good health, thankfully, and my skin is the opposite of sensitive. But my sense of smell is sensitive, and I love things that smell clean, natural and fresh. I’ve always been concerned about the environment, and have wanted to use products that were clean, natural, organic, and sustainably made. Once I’ve learned what is good and what to avoid, there’s no turning back.
Great question and I’m honestly not sure. I took on the natural approach beginning with hair products and it’s just grown into everything else. I am more conscience and I SHOW my children to be as well. In fact once I bought a pack of napkins cause we were expecting guests (we normally use cloth, reusable, ones) and my oldest son, picked it up and said “Mom, you bought napkins”…funny right, they get it ;)
It all started when I decided to stop chemically straigtening my hair via relaxers. I cut off my chemically straightened hair in December 2010 and my life hasn’t been the same since.
After cutting all my “unnatural” hair off, I embarked on a journey to learn how to take care of my natural, Afro-textured hair to the best of my ability. One day when I was on a hair care forum, I stumbled upon the idea of natural hair care products. I decided that they were the best for my hair and stopped using conventional, toxin-laden hair care products. I was easily converted as I loved the effect of natural products on the condition and appearance of my hair.
Soon thereafter, I became a vegetarian (about 2 years ago) and switched all of my personal care products (skin, make up, etc.) to natural ones. Now, I’m focusing on exercise and natural/”clean” vegetarian eating. This “natural thing” has now spread to everything–even making me conscious of cleaning products and other things that people, animals and the enivroment to dangerous chemicals.
I’m so glad I made the choice to “go natural” with regard hair as it’s opened my eyes to many things and has lead to me leaving a healthier life overall.
On why I’m at where I am I’d say that is because I hate being lied to. And that is exactly how I felt when I found out all the promises and statements attached to every cream, potion and lotion were doing.That the mix of ingredients on each product stopped at nothing to achieve the silkness and smoothness, no matter how harmful the mix might be.
That, added to my upbringing that looking back was pretty much clean and simple – healthy homecooked meals, no sodas in the house (I never had any thus never learned to like one so never drank one….and I still remember seing jello for the first time.. at a friends’ house, not in ours). My mother never dyed her hair, never wore make up (she did her nails from time to time but that was it) and she has always been into home remedies (whatever she doesn’t know the cure for she will find someone who does… her motto is that nature must have a solution to ease it all). ACV hair rinses were standard in my house.
Then, In my teens acne developed ..and I started searching for a miracle ..Tried so many creams,antibiotics,even two rounds of Accutane. Acne subsided but I was left with sorry skin .Years of poisoning ensued when I tried everything that ever appeared on a magazine and all that one of the many derms I visited ever prescribed..until I stumbled on an article from Tata Harper @ Vogue . That was my eye opening moment and from then on it has been the most enjoyable learning journey with very few misses and lots of hits. My skin care regimen is minimum and my skin is finally happy. I’ve enjoyed turning into a mixtress of sorts (deo, toothpaste &whithening, hand scrub, skin lightner) so I guess we are in fact our mother’s daughters.
Did you intend to write my history with this post?? You have described my mom and the context I grew up in to a T. Good job.