Dear Maybelline, What Goes Into a 14 Hour Lipstick?

Have you guys seen these ads for Maybelline’s new Super Stay 14Lipstick?

The other night, after a week-long vacation from television, I went on a bit of a marathon, and I must have seen this thing 10 times. It’s good. Catchy jingle. Pretty girls. Bright pop-colored mouths. For a moment I was like: OMG 14 hour lipstick! What a great idea!

Just kidding. But I definitely saw the appeal. So around time four, I lazily reached for the old laptop and did a quick search. I had to know what sorts of weird chemicals it could possibly take to keep something on your mouth—where you will inevitably ingest at least some of what you put on there—for 14 hours. We’re talking all the way from breakfast to post-dinner drinks, folks. And thanks to Ulta, Sephora’s ugly cousin, the list was right there.

I am posting this with one goal, and one goal only. To make you (and Siobhan) laugh as much as I did when I saw this. Here are the ingredients:

Trimethylsiloxyphenyl Dimethicone, Isododecane, Polypropylsilsesquioxane, Cyclopentasiloxane, Polyethylene, Stearyl Heptanoate, Ozokerite, Hydrogenated Styrene/Methyl Styrene/Indene Copolymer, C30-45 Alkyldimethylsilyl Polypropylsilsesquioxane, Silica Dimethyl Silylate, Alumina, Parfum / Fragrance, Cyclomethicone, Calcium Aluminum Borosilicate, Synthetic Fluorphlogopite, Calcium Sodium Borosilicate, Benzyl Alcohol, Silica, Pentaerythrityl Tetra-Di-T-Butyl Hydroxyhydrocinnamate, Polyethylene Terephthalate, Tin Oxide, Aluminum Hydroxide, Acrylates Copolymer, Paraffin, Dimethicone. May Contain: Mica, CI 77891 / Titanium Dioxide, CI 77491, CI 77492, CI 77499 / Iron Oxides, CI 15850 / Red 7, CI 45410 / Red 28 Lake, CI 45380 / Red 22 Lake, CI 15985 / Yellow 6 Lake, CI 19140 / Yellow 5 Lake, CI 42090 / Blue 1 Lake, CI 75470 / Carmine.

I mean? #*%*$#@!! I don’t even know what to say, because I don’t have the slightest clue what most of these ingredients are. (And we’ve spent, oh several years, researching this stuff.) For a large part, neither does Skin Deep—not a good sign. Note: If an ingredient gets a zero on their site, and is only listed in like 3 products, that doesn’t mean it’s safe: It likely means there’s just no information available on it.

Anyways, just wanted to share. According to the shoppers on Ulta who reviewed it, the whole 14 hours thing is pretty much a hoax (though it does have some lasting power—I mean, I should hope so!). And despite the bold claim of “No dragging. No drying. No letdowns at all.” several women wrote that the product indeed dried the dickens out of their lips, one woman writing: “This product has a great line of colors that look just as good on, but it severely dried my lips… like, painfully chapped. I do not think the color is worth the pain.”

Now let’s have some fun: What’s the dumbest product you’ve ever bought based on a ridiculous promise? I can remember this one very expensive stretch mark cream—stretch mark cream always equals lie—that also claimed was “discovered” (by happenstance!) to be the most effective wrinkle cream on the market. Remember the name? You’ll win a special place in my heart if you post it in the comments.

Image via Maybelline’s site

Comments
25 Responses to “Dear Maybelline, What Goes Into a 14 Hour Lipstick?”
  1. KarlaKris says:

    StriVectin! Being poor, I tried the knock-off version – needless to say I still have stretch marks.

  2. Lolly says:

    Heeey, Strivectine, how yooo doin’? So did it make your face as smooth as a baby’s (or your own) stretch mark-free bum? :) Yeah, that one always felt like a scam to me. As for me… Oh boy, I used to be (who am I kidding, still am, I’m just more conscientious about it now) a product junkie, so my shelves are littered with pricey past mistakes. Rodial Tummy Tuck, anyone? That one was a gem!

  3. Alexandra says:

    BOOM! Nice one Lolly. :)

  4. Alexandra says:

    Oh and Karla too! haha. Despite no indication of any stretch mark or wrinkle reduction, I bought that cream multiple times. Oy.

  5. Liz says:

    I’m pretty sure this is nail polish that you put on your mouth.

  6. nancy says:

    Exactly….Strivectin for those who could afford the $100plus …..I bought into the generic version at my local Walgreens.. kept using the thing for a looong time..
    Will get back to you on the dumbest purchase though as they were many..

  7. Rose M says:

    Oh let’s see: ProActiv, anyone? And diet pills. Ugh. Both used in my unhealthy-self-image college days. Wouldn’t go near either today.

    On a separate note, goodness, that lipstick is ridiculous!! And talk about a photoshopped picture! No wonder girls have a messed up idea of what they’re ’supposed’ to look like. Makes me sad.

  8. Alexandra says:

    HA. I wish I’d come up with that. :)

  9. Rebecca says:

    I bought the Zeno for acne spots..it was ridiculously expensive and didn’t do anything it claimed.

    I also bought the Wen shampoo, which also did nothing it was supposed to. I’ve wised up a bit since then but I still find I’m really susceptible to infomercials! I have to avoid watching them.

  10. Alexandra says:

    I agree, I’m a total sucker. Siobhan just reminded me of a few other things I bought: a special stretch-mark brush that I ordered from a janky website.. Colloidal silver soap (which I admitted to still kind of believing in, despite the fact that a man went blue once from over-injesting this stuff). There are many more. :(

  11. E says:

    I have a dirty girl confessional. I haven’t been able to give up my NARS lipstick DESPITE being hyper-vigilant about everything else (I know we’ve talked about this!). But this might just be the final straw. RIP beautiful Galaxy Girl.

    http://consumerist.com/2012/02/got-lipstick-theres-probably-lead-in-it.html

    Also yay for the FDA doing this study! Boo for them not being able to announce a standard. What bull.

  12. Stephanie says:

    Any self-tanning or firming lotion. What was I thinking?

  13. Rebecca says:

    Yeah, StriVectin. I tried it for wrinkles, but I found it actually cleared the psoriasis on my face and used it obsessively for a few years. But then I discovered that dietary changes cured my psoriasis completely and as I became more aware of clean products I ditched it. I would say I don’t generally fall for ridiculous claims, being the sciency type and all, but there have been times I’ve been willing to give something a try out of desperation. The signs of aging on my face make me want to believe there’s a simple fix!

  14. Lesley says:

    I bought a Revlon lipstick the other day. Put it on once, blech! Now it has to go straight to the trash. Why did I even bother??

  15. Votre Amie says:

    Oh man, I tooootally used the Zeno too! Brutal. zip zero nada effectiveness.
    AND AAHH! I was using colloidal silver cream as a spot treatment for a while and I thought maybe it worked, but wasn’t sure (hahaha), and then I read about the blue man! YIKES! no more colloidal silver cream for me!

    http://iloveublank.blogspot.com/

  16. christina says:

    oh man, i have tried the wen and of course proactiv and some stretch mark creams…
    so much easier to learn some science and see if controlling certain things is even possible! twin-tummy stretch marks? they are my beauty marks! acne? started eating a Paleo diet & it is 95% better.
    i pretty much just say “yeah right” any time i see any beauty product making a claim.

    also – i have seen that “Simple” garbage all over tv too. i posted the ingredients for a cleanser of theirs on my FB page & a few people commented that they had considered trying it out, but wouldn’t now. so glad i did my tiny PSA!

  17. Pepper says:

    Bliss’ Fat Girl Slim is probably the most absurd product I’ve ever purchased. Massaging cream into my butt and thighs shockingly did nothing to reduce the appearance of cellulite!

  18. Alex says:

    Firming lotion…… oh boy…. and I was in college! What did I know about needing to \firm\? LOL :)

  19. Michelle says:

    So funny, I was just wondering the same thing! A commercial for the 14 hour lipstick came on and my first thought was really, we need 14 hours now? And the second thought was how much crap must be in that! And then came the shudders at how terrible my super sensitive lips would react!

    Also saw a commercial for Simple, a skincare line for folks with sensitive skin. It was all green and peaceful with claims to be the UK’s best selling line..I’ll have to investigate how nice it actually is! Thank you ladies for making me question these things now and not just buy into the latest promise!!

  20. Caroline says:

    I’m such a turd! I’ve bought both StriVectin AND Fat Girl Slim. Dummy.

  21. Lisa says:

    I think the Clarisonic Mia was my worst purchase. The first use made my skin smooth, but any after that made my acne flare up. I foolishly kept trying, thinking I was doing it too hard or something, so I missed my 30 day return period. I, too, have tried Wen and Proactiv. I still get mail from both saying they “want me back!”

    Have ya’ll seen the latest from Maybelline? An eye shadow that lasts so long they’re calling it “Color Tattoo!” So, who’s interesed in putting that near her eyes? And the heck do ya get it off? :P

  22. Mary says:

    @Lisa, I’ve seen a ton of people raving about the Color Tattoo also! And a bunch of brands are coming out with moisturizing lipsticks like the Revlon Lip Butters. I wish people would understand that natural ingredents are actually the most moisturizing!

  23. eva says:

    Wait, so are you telling me that stretch mark creams don’t work? That’s grave news, as I’m in my 29th week…I drink a bunch of water, eat more fish oil than …predatory fish and so far I’ve been lucky. But I really, really want to believe that they work. Several friends of mine who usually get stretch marks from regular weight gain has avoided them throughout their pregnancy by using the Mamma Mio Tummy Rub ones…so I was hoping that would do the trick.

    What, we were taking about wanting to be hoodwinked, hmm? Right, there is no one as maniacally optimistic about a product’s claim than a pregnant lady/new mother I think.

    The most ridiculous product I ever bought must have been this bizarre pore shrinker from Clinique, back in the day. I mean, really, how the heck is it supposed to SHRINK your goddamn PORES? The thought alone is gross!

    Oh,if anyone has a good DYI mask for dry skin, I’m all ears. My usual combination skin is very dry this winter and I’m at a loss, not knowing any products for dry skin – even argan oil isn’t really doing the trick!

    Thanks!

  24. Perlie says:

    Since I came to the USA in 1988 I started using Avon cosmetics. Because they are a lot cheaper than other products that you’ll find inside other stores like Walmart or Macy’s. Avon lipsticks are lead free. They do have one product for skin care, that’s pretty reasonable ‘moisture therapy’. Not a rip off brand and it works.

  25. Ruth says:

    @eva
    I have very dry skin, here are my favorites: Pai Camellia and Rose Organic Gentle Hydrating Cleanser – it is soothing yet effective; Josie Maran Argan Oil Cleanser – I sometimes add jojoba oil which makes it less drying; Accure Toner for Dry Skin; Kahina Giving Beauty Toner; Argan Oil as moisturizer. Also, I wash my face at night then use toner and argan oil. In the morning I use both toners and argan oil.

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