I Have a Mustache and I Don’t Know What to Do—Help!

You know how it goes. One day you’re driving in your car, or the sun comes through the bathroom window. You catch your reflection and there it is: an honest-to-goodness mustache. Not just a little lady stache anymore, but in the right light something closer to the dirty lip you wish teenage boys would shave much sooner than they ever do.

The truth is I’ve been ignoring this Frida Kahlo situation—though truly, has any woman ever looked so beautiful with a mustache?—because I just don’t know what to do. So let’s review the options, shall we? And by golly, tell me what you or your fuzzy friends do too.

Plucking/Threading. My greatest concern is that I’m always accidentally plucking my little blonde hairs, and someone once told me that would make them dark. True or false?

Waxing. I’ve never really understood waxing. It kills, it gives people red bumps (or worse, as a commenter told us yesterday—actually, thanks for the idea for this post Moksha!—break out), the hair grows back funny, and you have to wait until it fully comes in to do it again. Oh, and it’s expensive! Am I missing something here? I know people say over time you have less hair, but that’s taken years for the folks I know, and even my sister—who was a die-hard leg waxer since the age of 13—eventually got fed up and started shaving.

Bleaching. Remember Jolen? Cause I do. I loved that stuff. And thanks to that scene from Reality Bites (remember, she’s going on her first date with Ben Stiller and almost forgets to wipe it off? lol), I actually thought mustache bleaching was kind of cool. Alas, it’s not clean. But should I make an exception in this case? Or will my blonde lip look even sillier? Probably can’t know without trying, but I’m totally afraid of what will happen to my newly sensitive clean-girl skin if I do. Could be rash-o-rama.

Laser. I’ve done it on my legs in the past and the hair stopped growing back for several years. Of course, then I didn’t realize how dangerous numbing cream is (actually deadly in two reported cases, though surely used in some insane excess). But here’s the thing: I know someone who got seriously burned from laser while doing her upper lip and it took ages to heal. And lots of light treatments and ointments and stuff. This friend has extremely pale and sensitive skin, but there’s always a risk. And it’s a big risk when it’s on your face.

Am I missing some other elusive option? What do you do with your lady lip hair?

Image via

60 Responses to “I Have a Mustache and I Don’t Know What to Do—Help!”
  1. lorena says:

    why do you say waxing is expensive? buy some wax and do it yourself. it’s not the same as if you are waxing your legs, the hair is much less. If you are afraid of getting burnt, dont heat it too much, or let the wax cool off a bit before aplying it. Sometines I just cut it with a scissors, but if you pluck it it will grow darker and thicker. I dont care what some pleople say: plucked hair grows darker and thicker. I had a few hairs below my chin, which were not really that noticeable but one day I was bored and I plucked them, well, now they are black and thick and I have to pluck them every single day.
    Besides laser, there is IPL and the good old electrolisis. Also depilatory creams.

  2. Audrey says:

    I just make my own honey/ sugar wax! I got the idea after researching Brazilian Sugaring, but modified the recipe to include honey so no stove top boiling is required. (i.e. I was simply too lazy.)

    I just mix about a 2 teaspoons of honey with 1 teaspoon of granulated sugar and microwave the mixture until it’s boiling, about 30 seconds. Then I just stir it up and wait for it to cool. (The trickiest part is catching it at the right temperature- not too hot, but before it solidifies.)

    I always use some sort of powder (corn starch, powdered makeup, etc) to dust my upper lip. Then I just mix the honey/ sugar concoction one more time and use the goopy spoon like a paddle. You can also spread the mixture and use cotton strips like you would to wax. The best consistency is when it’s just thicker than honey.

    The pros: very cheap, easy, supposedly hurts less than waxing, great for upper lip, chin, and arms
    The cons: still hurts, if you use the mixture before it’s cooled, you will scorch yourself (speaking from experience, hello red upper lip), doesn’t work quite as well as waxing (won’t grab every small hair), doesn’t work on legs

  3. A says:

    I use one of those weird little buzzy trimmers:


    And then go back with the tweezers and pull out any noticible dark stubble (a lot of the hairs are too pale to see as stubble, but there are always a few at the edges.

    I don’t think plucking the small blond hairs makes them grow back darker, I’ve never heard that :-/ But you’d have that problem with waxing anyway. And I don’t fancy having bleach right under my nostrils.

  4. Shannon says:

    I’ve been using an at home Sally Hansen waxing kit for years. It’s quick, easy and cheap!

  5. Elizabeth says:


    Waxing can definitely cause breakouts on your upper lip…as it can anywhere else on your bod if you don’t take care to keep exfoliating/killing the bacteria in the follicle…it’s ingrown hair that is causing the breakouts after hair removal.

    Laser can not just burn you, but depending on the undertones of your skin color it can cause hyperpigmentation that is permanent and then you just LOOK like you have a moustache because your skin is darker above your lip than it was before laser. I have several friends it has happened to, yipes.

    Electrolysis is the way to go. Truly not that expensive, safe and permanent.

  6. Jennifer says:

    I have to say, I used to wax, but it was terrible. About the same time I gave up on waxing, I cut out all toxins in my life…only food I make, no more toxic beauty products, make my own deodorant, even got rid of the hormonal birth control. Know what, I no longer have the darker, thicker hair on my upper lip. I’m now convinced that it is all of the crazy hormone-disrupting things we do to our bodies that causes this…at least for me.

  7. mangomadness says:

    I use MOOM Organic Hair Remover (moom.com) for removing my upper lip hair. It’s a ready-made sugar-based hair remover. I love it ’cause it’s natural, gentle, easy to use, effective, and affordable.

  8. epilatorgirl says:

    you can remove the mustache with facial wax strips, they are affordable and in a couple of minutes you’re done and you can do it once every month. a second solution is to use an epilator since this too removes hair from the root so the results are long lasting, too.

  9. Maria says:

    Hi Alexandra, I have also heard that sometimes excessive plucking can lead to hair growing back thicker. People who say this is true argue that it stimulates blood flow to the area. My own personal belief is that is has more to do with hormones than actual plucking.

    You have to be very careful when removing hair from the face especially if you want to go the permanent route later on. Plucking, waxing, or tweezing the hair can cause the follicles to distort. This makes it harder from electrologists to remove the hair.

  10. Melissa says:

    You can use a facial epilator. It will remove hair from root hence the result is long lasting. I prefer to chose the Braun’s new facial epilator. which comes with a seperate facial cleansing brush as well

Leave A Comment