Getting Our Glam On at a Best Friend’s Wedding
So yeah, we’ve been up to all sorts of the very best kind of no-good this weekend. Ahem, extended weekend.
The festivities started on Friday when Siobhan and I met up in Montreal with some of our oldest pals to begin celebrations for our darling Erika’s wedding. (Erika is also a frequent commenter here in the NMDL community.) It lasted for three days and it was completely off the hook! Is there anything more beautiful than seeing two people make an authentic expression of their love before family and friends? Not so much. And this one was especially special.
The second best thing about this wedding though, in my humble opinion, was all the female camaraderie—most notably, the pre-party primping.
We spared nothing! We went for nails, we got blowouts, and we watched the bride get her makeup done with big silly grins on our faces. There were chemicals, of course—too many tears of joy not to be!—but we minimized exposure where we could.
I showed up at the salon with my hair wet and conditioned, cause we know I wouldn’t run the risk of being forced into a wash again. The nail salon we found was also shockingly unstinky, and offered three-free options we could live with.
For myself, this was also a MUCH-needed reconnection to my more glamorous side. A side, I’m embarrassed to admit, that’s been in hiding since, well, my wedding. See, aside from trying new clean hair and face products religiously, I’ve let some of the more ritualized self-care fall by the wayside. My fellow freelancers can probably identify: It’s hard to get to the salon (clean or otherwise), when you are barely getting out of your PJs! It’s also way too easy to slack off when you decide to settle down with someone—whatever that may mean to you.
So a question to the non-single ladies: Has deeper commitment for you resulted in less commitment to your grooming? If so, join me in making a public promise to turn this trend around! Nails will be trimmed and buffed or polished (with Scotch or Zoya, of course!). Legs will be shaved (I’m actually testing out a new clean shaving cream this week). Hair will get blown out now and again (I’m going to see how long I can extend this one with a natural dry “shampoo”).
What have you neglected?
Image via Vogue
Honestly, I find it the opposite for me. Dont get me wrong when I was single I took care of myself, certainly did my makeup more often. But since I have been in a relationship with my significant other (Around a year and a half now.) I have found confidence in myself I just didnt previously have. Partially because of him, having a person in your life who will support and love you no matter what is an amazing thing, but a lot of it was me. I was unhappy with the way I was doing things. I was a bit over weight, and I wanted Matt (said significant other) to be proud of the woman he was standing next to. I wanted to be proud of myself when I looked in the mirror. So far Ive lost 27 pounds, basically by eating right and parking near the back of stores. And Ive changed my beauty routine to as green as I can get it at least for the moment. Im happy, and really, I think that makes you more beautiful than anything. (And seriously, 27 pounds for a 5′2 girl, yeah it makes a difference.)
I have found that since being married, the glam has gone out, not the health. I am significantly more healthy, but I found my husband didn’t care for the glam.
I don’t think the partnering up was a cause of any personal neglect for me. I think I take much better care of myself now that I’ve been married 20+ years. But I was 19 the last time I was single, and there’s just not that much beauty routine required at that age! For me it was having a newborn baby that really threw off my self-care process. I was lucky if I brushed my teeth in those early days. I’ll admit to this though – with a regular partner I am not quite as diligent about the hair removal. I still take care of business, but there are more unacceptably hairy days than there probably would be if I were dating.
Alex, I’m with you on the promise to keep up the grooming! I need some help in the nail polish arena, as I’d love to start polishing my toenails again…anyone have any info on the safety of Zoya? I’m drawn to the colors and have been e-mailing the company to learn more (the water-based stuff I’ve tried is not worth the time, I’d rather just buff). I haven’t yet received info on the fragrance added to the remover from Zoya. I added the polish to cosmeticsdatabase.com and it rates a 2, though I do struggle with the idea of adding back anything possibly remotely toxic back into my routine. Anyone have any advice?
I like and can relate to what Renee and Suzanna have said. Hmmm, how has shacking up changed things….Since getting married (or being in a relationship before marriage) I find I can finally relax about the way I look, or better yet, the way I want to look. Certain things have changed for me since partnering up: I’ve stopped blowing out my hair after washing, I’m wearing less makeup, I’ve stopped over-fussing about what to wear, I’ve started working out, eating remarkably healthier etc. Certain things have remained the same: I still do not shave my legs often as I’d like, I still cut my nails, I get my eyebrows/upper lip groomed etc. I think along the lines of “holy crap, I got lucky to find this person, let me try to stay on earth longer!”
Not married, but I lived with my last serious bf for a few years and didn’t really stop with the grooming maybe because I do it mostly to satisfy my own itches and because I also don’t work from home. I really like to get regular pedicures all year long (it makes me almost like my feet, which i hate) and I enjoy ritual in general. The nail salon I go to also doesn’t have cell reception which at first seemed annoying but actually it’s great. Total time out with bad magazines. This is grooming though. Hideous old sweatpants and giant, threadbare Notre Dame football tshirts (fighting irish yo!) were—and still are—definitely in effect sometimes.
I was much more compulsive when I was in my last serious relationship – total attention to skincare / make up / “doing” my hair… I figure it was because it was a bad relationship & I felt the need to at least look like everything was perfect despite the actual chaos of my situation. Now I am so much more relaxed about things and go more natural most of the time. I think this works much better for me: I am so much prettier when I’m smiling!!!
On a more serious note – I am “good” about skincare, manicures, pedicures, etc… Seems the common theme in the posts above is neglecting waxing / shaving and I fall into that trap, too. In the winter I my legs can start to resemble those of a Yeti… *blush*
I wouldn’t say neglect but to fall into a zone of confort instead.. and that does not mean lack of basic grooming :)
@Rebecca, on your tries with water-based polishes.. have you tried one coat only? I’ve tried Priti and No Miss Polishes and both seems to work better this way.
@nancy, I felt like one coat was way too sheer. Even two coats is inadequate coverage for my taste. I used Acquarella, which had great reviews, but I doubt I’ll use it again. Scotch seems popular, but I’m not in love with their colors. I think I’ll either try Zoya or just stick with the no polish look, which I’ve been doing for years. Polished toenails are just fun though, I’ve been missing it lately.
When in a relationship I am more diligent about “grooming”, but anything more than the occasional tweezing or trim is too much of a hassle. I also found that wet shaving gets me these nasty little ingrown hairs that look worse than just trimmed hair, which is more or less smooth, relatively low-profile (in between gilette-ad and yeti), comfortable (no itch!!) and extremely low-maintanance. Takes half an hour once a week, and about 5 minutes extra when in need of touch up for occasional swimming event or date. I dislike water and have had slightly disappointing experiences with men in the past half year or so, so that saves time.
I have been thinking a lot about female beauty, both the time and energy we are “supposed” to spend on it is absurd in comparison to that of men (especially the nothing-but-the-occasional-trim-of-face-type-men I mostly date). You know: I could be spending that time discovering the world, relaxing, working, reading a book, getting filthy rich, volunteering or growing a garden, etc. Say there’s 34 people in yoga class, 30 women. All of them took 20 minutes that morning to shave and peel and rub and get made up, on top of a 10 minute shower they “needed” anyway. That’s 10 hours total of time that could have been spent doing something breathtakingly amazing, helpful, or just to enjoy breakfast more slowly or sleep a little longer. And that’s only one class. Seeing as how I rarely see a woman there not perfectly groomed/manicured/plucked/presentable, the potential unleashed if they decided to maybe cut that time in half would be enormous.
Is there anyone else who can’t bring themselves to more then just a dab of deodorant and isn’t planning on become much more polished, partner or not? Or who sometimes feels make-up and shaving are devious distractions to get women and now increasingly men to fight a never ending battle of lost energy? And: is the discomfort we feel when not perfectly groomed just an internalized social pressure created by an oppressive visual monoculture?
I don’t have the answers, but felt a need to ask the questions.
Being a performer I can’t ever fully allow myself to go to pot. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. He sees me regularly in my fully adorned state and also sees me regularly without a hint of makeup with my glam negated by dirty hair and the same sweat pants that I possessed before we even met. However, he tells me that I am beautiful when I am in both of those states. Wonderful, no?
By the way, yay for Erika!! (you ladies saw Arianne and Daniel too…didn’t you? Lucky ducks.)
I”m going to take one for the team here and say, now that I’m married, I take way less care of myself and my grooming. Unfortunately, I promised myself, I would never fall into this routine and I have! Grrr! I need to get back into the swing of things, but sometimes Im just too tired to care. My husband doesn’t care either way, so that definitely contributes to my lack of grooming.