What’s Your Worst Beauty and Health Vice?
Last week my sweet Siobhan bared her soul, telling you guys about the dirty products still in her medicine cabinet—and then she signed me up to do the same! It’s funny: some of you seemed surprised by her honesty but I’m not sure why: We’ve always maintained that women shouldn’t sacrifice their absolute favorite products, especially if you don’t use them daily, and most especially if they bring you pleasure. Because pleasure is a big principle here, in No More Dirty Looks land.
But here’s the thing about my list: Other than waterproof mascara (Laura Mercier), which I’ve mentioned in the past, and my new sorta-natural highlights (update: I love them SO much, and my hair is getting dirtier by the day!) my cabinet is clean. It’s not out of any obligation though: I did have this amazing Bobbi Brown concealer a little while back, but once I discovered the Jane Iredale Active Light one I forgot about it.
But not one to leave my friend alone in her confessions—and besides, we’ve got a nice circle of trust going here—I’m going to reveal some other dirty secrets of my own.
For us, health and beauty are synonymous. And we all do things that we shouldn’t if we want to look our best. Maybe you skimp on sleep, suck back martinis, work on the weekends, or binge on sugar. So let’s have at it, shall we? And just to prove that no vice is too vicey, I’m going to come forward with my absolute worst:
1. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that sometimes I drink too much. This generally wreaks havoc on my face in the form of pimples and/or some patchy redness. But here’s the real doozy, and I can’t even believe I’m copping to this, but in the name of transparency, here it is: Sometimes when I’m tipsy I’ll have (ahhhhh, the shame, the shame) a cigarette. As vices go, it doesn’t get much worse for your health or your skin. The irony isn’t lost on me, of course, and the sheer guilt of it is probably doing some damage too. How often does it happen? I’m not great with consistency, but it’s only been about a month since my last slip.
2. I often forget to take my omegas. Sounds like nothing after my first admission, I know—but seriously, omegas are the truth.
3. I probably drink too much caffeine, but since it’s not keeping me up at night, literally or figuratively, I’m going to let this one slide for now.
OK, you’re up. I implore you not to leave me out here in the cold.
Great post! You are so funny!
So, for me,
#1 I would LOVE to stop taking the pill. But the pill makes my skin smooth and delicious and the acne just disappears. Which for me, if I can have clear skin, I feel beautiful and now (thanks to your book and blog) I only put clean things on my face (and body). Sparingly, because it will glow.
BUT alas, I stopped taking the pill in January to go clean inside and out and five months later I’m back to square one, where I was as a teenager. Such a downer (at 26). I’ve started up again, no results so far. I wish I could be as clean on the inside of my body (not taking medicine) as I am on the outside. Super ugh. I’d love to get it out of my medicine cabinet. The pill is off subject I think, but for me, the hormones give me clear skin which equals beauty.
#2 I drink coca-cola. One or two cans a week. Super chilled with a hot bowl full of Tom Newman’s natural popcorn and a movie. :) I crave it and should cut it out, especially after reading about refined sugars in your post (wasn’t that just yesterday?). I live in Paris, and the ingredients say “sugar” not the high fructose corn syrup, so maybe that makes it a little better? I avoid the diet coke because of the aspartem (or whatever it’s called).
I think I should look into Omegas after reading the link.
Such a fun post! Thanks for sharing!
P.S. If you speak a little French (which part of Canada are you from?!) then “Ma Premiere Cigarette” is for you. (For the moments when you have une petite cigarette… It’s a song by Fifi Chachnil who designs the best lingerie in Paris!
OK, I’ll bite. My vices were much more like yours when I was in my twenties, Alexandra. Now, in my forties, I’m lots better at healthy living. But the last frontier for me is that I just can’t keep an exercise program going. And, in fact, it’s been a LONG time since I’ve even gotten one started. I’m really making an effort this year, though, and have progressed all the way to … walking. Sometimes. Wish me luck. :-)
@A – aww, that is really frustrating about the pill. :( but awesome about the song! I will check it out. I speak a lot of French actually. :)
I was on the pill for a year, for the first time in my life, due to some very heavy, lengthy and painful periods, (for which I was often hospitalized). I fought tooth and nail not be be on it, but finally relented. Now that I am off of it, I really miss it. I had zero breast tenderness and I felt GREAT! Now, my breasts are sore almost every day and I feel irritable and anxious. Oh well, what can you do. This too shall pass.
My vices include too much caffiene, (and yes, I realize that the irritability and anxiety may be relieved by ridding myself of that, but I am unwilling to give it up), and occasionaly too much wine.
You only live once and I don’t want to die on a diet or depriving myself of some small pleasure.
I’ll bite – ice cream! Lots and lots of it, full-fat, heavy-dairy lovely, lovely ice cream! And I’m totally okay with that – my waistband is the only worry. Drinks once in a while. Also very fine with that. Definitely not enough exercise. Not so great on taht one, but am working on it. Maybelline mascara. At times a dirty deodorant (my crystal one works great one day and not at all the next – anyone else have that problem?) The weird goop I put on my fungoid toenails (I know, lovely, right?)
For those of you trying to quit smoking: I smoked for, gosh, 11 years – sometimes as much as a pack and a half a day, sometimes just a few cigarettes a day. I quit while abroad and when I came home, the very, very first thing my old friend said, after not having seen me in a year, and not knowing anything about me quitting was \Wow, you quite smoking, didn’t you?\. Apparently it really showed on my skin.. Now I’m 33 and my skin actually looks younger than when I was 27 – a bit creepy, really.
Of course I smoked more than Alexandra, and so I wouldn’t worry if you smoke so little – what worked for me was being a really, really happy smoker for as long as I felt like it, and then simply quitting when I decided it wasn’t for me anymore (a family member’s lung cancer helped me decide). I really think you’ll have a much harder time quitting if you feel like you’re depriving yourself of the most awesome, wonderful, lovely, decadent, sinfully delicious thing ever. And that goes for sugar, coffee or whatever. So if you smoke a little, smoke a little and ENJOY the heck out of it. Choose to do it, and screw what other people say. That’s, paradoxically, the best way to quit. Especially in a world where we have so many, many daily \shoulds\ on our list of Things To Do For My Health – smokes/sugar/diet coke/whatever become this awesome cool little teenage rebellions in our psyches/bodies that we can’t squash without feeling like we’re killing our souls or something. And ultimately you can’t quit if you on a very real level feel like you’re stamping out the last spark of fun in your soul by not smoking.
So, yeah, enjoy whatever you do, whole-heartedly and unashamedly. And then I bet you’ll probably find that cigarettes aren’t that awesome – you can always smoke three in a row and see how you feel..
Okay, this is really difficult to admit, because I try SO hard to be healthy. I’m a stress eater. Always have been. I was really unhealthy many years back because of it. I got myself under control, lost a ton of weight, down to a good blood pressure, exercise every day. These days I eat vegan and gluten-free, and mostly raw – but even though the stuff I sometimes overeat is healthy, the amount can be too much. It’s like I feel like crap for whatever reason, I eat too much, and it’s not comforting, it’s like I’m punishing myself for feeling bad. I’m not talking about an occasional over-indulgence, but a pattern I fell back to in difficult emotional times. I tell myself it’s not as bad as going crazy with unhealthy foods, and I guess it’s not. But I know I’m dishonoring my body/mind/spirit by behaving in a way I know makes me feel bad. Feeling bad is not beautiful, and the combo of too much food and bad feelings makes my hormones crazy and makes my skin break out. I need to treat my body like the temple it is, all the time.
Alexandra, on the cigarette thing, if you really want to stop, then find a way. If you don’t want to stop, then drop the guilt (but I support stopping altogether!). I hope your party buddies will support you stopping if that’s what you want.
Is the smoking thing a desire to hang with the other people doing the same thing? Many years ago I tried some “cigarettes” that were made from different herbs (legal) with no tobacco. They smelled good when they burned, like marshmallows. Probably still not great to inhale, but maybe you could have one of those and still hang with your smokin’ buddies.
@Eva: love this advice. I also used to smoke for real real, and the difference in my skin was totally drastic when I stopped. For me, I think smoking is some relic of an older version of myself that every once in a while I long to revisit. Luckily, I really can’t do it more than very occasionally now—my body is way too sensitive. :)
Don’t drink, don’t smoke, eat pretty healthy, exercise a ton, all clean products EXCEPT……
BOTOX
RESTYLANE
Hair dye (from whole foods, the least toxic of all of them there)
AMEN!
I am still on the pill and i hate it(although I also love the effect on my skin), but i’m too paranoid about pregnancy and condom”slip ups” to get off it. And I’m very bad a keeping up the exercising, especially since I started traveling so much for my job.
i think these confession posts are the funniest. but i also they’re helpful- the stress and guilt of “the bad stuff we do” is almost worse than what we’re actually doing. it’s the weight of the guilt that seems to make lines on my face. so i think confessing might make us more beautiful!
wow i’m tired- A & S- any chance you can fix the fifteen typos in my comment? haha
How pathetic is this, Alexandra? I don’t take any omegas, and I drink caffeinated black coffee, every day. I thought coffee had some health benefits?
Loved reading both Alexandra’s and Siobhan’s “Dirty Secrets.” It helps us all!
Hugs.
Oh, I can totally relate, Alexandra. I smoked throughout college and a good deal of my twenties (I’m 33 now) and, though it’s been many months since my last puff, I still crave a cigarette after I’ve had a few cocktails. Especially in social settings where others are smoking. Nothing brings people together like a shared cigarette! Ha! Fortunately, California has banned smoking in so many places now, I hardly am around it at all.
My main vices are caffeine and alcohol. I have quit drinking coffee several times over the last decade, but keep coming back to it. I also have an alcoholic beverage more nights than not. But just one. :)
I’ve reformed my personal care routine in many ways except:
Highlights
“Purple” shampoo…you know the kind with the toner in it for the highlights
(but i LOOK HOT!)
Also, I have a thing for Dr. Pepper but I try not to go overboard (try)
I love potato chips but I try not to let them follow me home from the grocery store everytime I go, cuz if they’re in the house, then I’m eating them till they are gone!
I think I’ve almost kicked my fast-food hamburger habit but still have one every once in a while.
I drink coffee, leaded, but only one or two every morning.
On the pill and been on it so long I’m scared to death to stop.
Whew, I feel better. Is this what it feels like to go to confession?
Oh wow… Here’s where I hang my head in shame!
I smoke. And this totally stresses me out because there is not a single negative point about smoking that I don’t already know AND AGREE WITH but the idea of quitting makes me so shaky I want a cigarette. So I also like Eva’s advice – own it! I was led to this conclusion only a week ago and have already found myself cutting back without putting any pressure on myself. When I smoke I enjoy the cigarette, and it has become less of a crutch than it has been in the past. I long for and look forward to the day I throw my arms up in the air and declare “I AM A NON-SMOKER!!!”. (I’ve just started the Alan Carr book, everyone keep your fingers crossed for me!)
And my daily coffee – no sugar, just organic soy. (Always organic, I’ve heard non-organic is usually GM and therefore chock full of hormone disruptors?)
I’m drug free, both legal and illegal. I have a fairly healthy diet, although I just plain don’t buy cheese because I know no portion control in that area.
But, I suppose, the smoking counts as multiple vices as it covers so many health consequences.
Love this post! You ladies are so lovely and so human, I love your forgiving attitude when it comes to making the big switch to a complete healthy lifestyle.
My beauty situation is all clean except for The Pill as others mentioned (when will the male version finally come out??? And when will my face FINALLY clear up!) and topical acne meds for my face like tetrinoin, some benzoyl peroxide…bad I know. The b.p. less often than the terinoin, but I have found it so difficult to find anything that really destroys my pimples.
This could be in relation to, however, my many food faux pas – being at home in the summer I have very little self control when there are “bad” foods around me. Like another commenter, if there is something bad in the house I have to eat it ALL! I do manage to get on a clean eating roll for a few days, then I will slip up and BAM everything sort of goes downhill from there…until I start all over again.As far as exercise goes I’ve been doing the P90x dvds for a while, but really need to dedicate myself more, they are effective and convenient though if one commits. I just wish I could consistently eat clean and work out, but I suppose we all have our vices. Keep up the fab work you two! Let’s keep spreading the word because if I have to watch another b.s. pantene, revlon, cover girl, etc commercial full of lies I may just lose it haha
@ Rebecca – Me too! I would say that is my worst bad habit. I am such a stress eater. I eat 95% vegan (even when I’m stress eating), but I eat too much at times, and I eat the unhealthy foods (tater tots, french fries, etc).
I also tend to drink more than what I think would be ideal – but it just tastes so good!
And, for now, I still use my chemical-filled mousse because I just don’t know what I would do with my curly hair without it! If anyone has any suggestions for a replacement, I would love it!
I’m in the looooong process of becoming healthy; I learned a long time back that my “radical makeovers” all crashed & burned, while my babysteps almost always worked. So I have a medicine cabinet that’s 75% natural, a kitchen that’s 60% natural, and ride the bus 30% of the time.
My current vice under assault is sugar. Around X-mas, it suddenly started making me nauseous. Sounds like a good way to quit, right? YOU try going cold turkey with my Mom’s shortbreads in the vicinity!
I can’t believe how addictive the stuff is. I don’t even have much of a sweet tooth! It’s been months of just trimming, trimming, trimming… binge & start over. Still, slow progress is still progress.
I can’t think of anything particularly bad that I’m doing. As I become aware of alternatives, I use up what I have, (I can’t bear throwing things away, even when it’s smarter to do so), and then change over to things I can feel good about, but here’s the doozy:
I really really really want a breast reduction operation. I can come up with lots of “valid” reasons, but the real reason is that I hate hate hate the way my post pregnancy “H” cup, belly button nearing, 43 year old dugs look. And of course, I hate that I can’t accept myself as I am, and the message I’d be sending to my daughters. I have no immediate plans to do anything, but it haunts me.
@Jamie, have you tried a sea salt spritz for your curly hair? John Masters makes one called sea mist, but I make my own. I don’t have my recipe handy but I think it’s 1.5 tsp sea salt and 1/2 tsp argan oil whipped up in my VitaMix with 8oz water (spritz on wet or dry hair, shake before each use).
To all the smokin’ girlz, I wish you well if you are quitting. It’s really hard for me not to rant about the issue, but I’ll just put this out there: I think it’s not reasonable to think you “own it” if anyone else has to breathe in the smoke with you (and believe me, no matter where you go to smoke it sticks in the surroundings and on you).
I wish us all the strength it takes to kick our vices right in the butt!
Is it awful that this makes me want to go ON the pill so my skin will clear? What am I supposed to do with that? Somebody tell me it doesn’t clear everyone’s skin or is expensive or wreaks havoc in other places so maybe I’ll be able to resist the temptation!
Ooooh, confessions – the foremost vice in my life at the moment is indulgence in that beautiful liquid called (insert alcoholic beverage of choice here). There are times when I overindulge (weekends usually) and but the thing is I really and truly have to get over not finishing a bottle of wine when it’s opened. It’s like working to not feel the need to finish all the food on your plate (which took me some time to conquer).
For a beauty vice – what I see as major cosmetic alterations (depilatory lasering, dermatological assistance for acne scarring, teeth whitening) – none that I’ve yet undertaken, but all of which I alternatively consider and reject in a tide-like cycle that is surely lunar guided, and am seriously saving for and considering.
I suppose there is also the list of things I wish I was doing better or more of, but in terms of vices, that’s it.
definitely potato chips, and I eat waaay too much salt. Friends and family always look at me in confusion and occasionally horror when they see how much salt I put on my food. I still have really low blood pressure, well below normal, so. I was on the pill for about 3 years and went off of it a year ago. It made my skin really nice but eventually it de-estrogenated my ladybits and sex started to be painful because the skin was so prone to tearing. Went off it and am sooo much happier without it.
Ahhhh.. I feel like I am about to get kicked out of the clean girl club here..
I’m a hair stylist, so I am around tons of crap every day at work. I have refused to participate in the Brazilian straightener hoopla, though. I don’t advocate them, and certainly won’t perform them. Things are looking up though, they are starting to come out with better alternatives that are formaldehyde free.. not just claiming to be, but truly are. We’ll see what happens with those as far as effectiveness.
At home the one thing I can’t seem to let go of is my old face wash, Dermalogica MediBac Cleanser. I have clean ones such as Burt’s Bees and Acure Organics, but most of the time I use my old stuff. I have loved it for so many years, it’s hard to move on.
This is such a great post! I still use windex on my bathroom mirror, I love my Mac blush, and I too occasionally have a cigarette while drinking. I don’t take omegas either. I know I should since Alzheimer’s runs in my family. I love the occasional coke too! Especially if it’s fountain coke.
Eva, my deodorant stops working all the time! Gosh! I thought I was the only one! I have to rotate brands every month. Just ordered soapwalla. Can’t wait to try.
Ladies, I don’t want to scare you, but I was on the pill for 10 years. I see a very well known integrative medicine doctor here in Boston for thyroid issues. He told me that being on the pill for so long has destroyed my stomach lining and now I don’t properly digest my food. He knows through a stool test (sorry for tmi). We are working to fix it. It’s not irreversible. I’m NOT saying this will happen to you, I’m just saying be careful how long you stay on it.
@Jamie, I have super curly hair, and for years have been using different gels and mouses, and once I went clean, I find that all my hair has wanted all this time was a little oil. Now, I stopped washing it everyday (every other) and only wash with Dr. Bronners. Also, after I get out of the shower, I put a small amount of coconut oil on the frizzies, and once my hair dries, it looks great! I know we’ve been over the magic of coconut oil on here a lot, but I think for curly hair it’s the best way to go. My hair did take a while to get used to this beauty routine though. I swear by it!
Dudes, I love this post.
I have just started a vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free diet to try to figure out what it is in food that is making me sick. It made me realize how frigging badly I eat. I went into hardcore sugar withdrawal and was SO cranky for a few days. It’s a lot better now, and honestly, my body feels a lot better, so I hope that will encourage me to keep up with a healthier diet (but oh, I can’t wait to eat cheese again!).
Other than that, my main problem is exercise, or lack thereof. I’m only 22 but don’t want to wait until I’m old and the pounds are packing on. I want to be healthy NOW but I find it sooo hard to commit and exercise regularly.
Also, Leslie, I just want to say that I know several women who have had breast implants or reductions post-baby – my boyfriend’s mom is one of them. I, for one, say GO FOR IT. Surgery is a big decision and scary, but if it is going to make you feel better about your body I think your daughters will admire you for doing what is best for YOU.
That’s my two cents :)
My worst vice is eating dairy and junk food, both of which make me feel not-so-great. One would think this would make me stop eating them…but apparently it’s more difficult than that. As a previous comment said, it is the gradula progress that is working. When I’m short on time (or just feeling lazy), I also tend to not eat many vegetables. Also, the pill…but it did help my skin clear up a little bit and I like not being pregnant…
I was using hair products that contained diazolindyl urea until I found out it was basically formaldehyde. :( I’ve since switched to no-pooing (I have curly hair) and using Alaffia conditioner (the Beautiful Curls line), Alaffia deep conditioner (every week or so…I probably won’t need it as much over time), and Yarok mousse (really like this).
I try to make progress every day…and go to the grocery store on a regular basis. My challenge for this summer is to eat all of the food in my CSA every week, which is a lot. :)
Check out the primal workout by mark sisson.. its short and I would say it works. I would say drinking is my one thing and the pill but using a condom isnt a enough right now for me to get off the pill. If you have food making you sick. Get checked out it can cause alot of problems in your body and I would recommend someone that looks at food allergies in the holistic area
I am actually super disgusted now with all of the remnants still lingering around my apartment of things I haven’t replaced yet! Formerly madly in love with perfume, I have two full bottles that I spray only on my clothes because I don’t want it on my skin anymore. But I can’t just toss a $100 bottle in the trash, it feels like such a waste. I was also addicted to Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers, that I’ve found a color alternative in Burt’s Bees, but not the delicious fake Dr. Pepper taste! I was a little sad when I tossed it.
The worst I do is, living in New York, I can’t say goodbye to delicious baked goods! Walking past Levain and not getting a cookie the size of my face? Never gonna happen.
@Pepper: Try selling your perfume on Craigslist!
Also I just want to say, everyone keeps mentioning the pill. I know there is a lot of debate about the pros and cons of hormonal birth control and prescriptions in general. But the pill helps me look and feel great, and minimizes my PMS. I am also on antidepressants and even though I would love to be pill-free, I do NOT consider these a vice. They are essential to my well-being! So don’t feel bad for taking pills, I say. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself!
I’m with you on the drinking & caffeine! yikes!
I’m joining the conversation late, but…perfume. I adore perfume. I’ve collected it for decades and have easily over 100 bottles. I love perfume blogs, I enjoy reading about the noses who create the stuff–what they’re trying to achieve, how they do it–and most of all I adore the way perfume brightens (or softens or changes or enhances or…) my day. Over the past 6-12 months I’ve tried using only natural perfumes. I have naturals from high-end lines (Roxana Illuminated Perfumes, which I adore, DSH, Mandy Aftel) and from cheaper lines. And while some are wonderful, many are really not worth wearing. Plus, synthetics have an intriguing clarity that, when done well, is quite special. (On the other hand, naturals have a roundness synthetics can’t approach–so they are certainly superior in some ways!)
That said, I found that after months and months of only “allowing” myself to wear natural fragrances, I was terribly sad. I used to love standing in front of my dresser, choosing just the perfect scent for the day, and I found that joy fading when my choices were suddenly limited. So now–I wear poisonous perfumes sometimes. I know you’ve pointed out (in your book) that perfumes are particularly noxious because they affect the people around us, not just ourselves. But…I love the art and magic of perfumes. I love their variety, and splendor, and mystery. And their simple joys! Jeez, I could cry over this. I’ve given up every single dirty lipstick, cosmetic, hair product, skin product, facial cleanser, household cleanser–every single thing I owned that had rotten ingredients went in the trash. It was shocking, and sometimes I miss a few things (especially cosmetics), but I did it and am glad I did. But perfumes…as things stand now, I’m being less militant about using synthetics, because I really was sad without my old “loves.” So I try not to wear the synthetic versions much but occasionally I give myself permission to “spend the day with an old friend” by wearing a long-standing favorite. Sigh.
Rose, it doesn’t clear everyone’s skin. In fact, some people break out more. I researched Loestrin (the lowest dose, apparently) before I went on it, because I was concerned about weight gain and other side effects. I read some of the testimonials from women and they scared me half to death. Among them was skin that cleared up temporarily and then enormous flare-ups afterward. Of course, it may or may not be pill related and the same goes for the weight gain side affect.. In my case, I am nearing menopause (how near, who knows, because I’m off now and my little monthly friend is back) and I was put on the pill for one year to help with extremely painful and lengthy periods that left me hospitalized more than a couple of times and it did work after a couple of month. I didn’t feel I had much choice and felt utterly defeated, but it was something that was interfering with my everyday life significantly. I’m relieved to be off, because my family history contains breast and uterine cancers.
Interestingly, just the year I was on the pill negatively impacted my mammogram. I had to have additional slides, which were inconclusive. I hope that is enough to disuade you.
Lauren, I too have a love affair with Dermaloga. Heavy Sigh.
It’s such a misconception that caffeine is really bad for you. Long term studies show there are all sorts of benefits to regular caffeine consumption, and ultimately it leads to a compression in mortality (read: in studies less people died in the caffeine consuming groups than the ones that abstain). So that’s one less vice for you!
Ladies, I just wanted to thank ALL of you so much for sharing here! It made me really happy to read everyone’s posts—not because misery loves company, but because we are all so similar in our struggles at the end of the day. Warms my heart. x
@Alyssa M- are you following a specific vegan, gluten free, sugar free diet? I am working on this myself. I find it hard to come up with satisfying meal ideas. Any suggestions? I’m also curious how you gave up sugar. Im working on it slowly, but I just need a little newmans own lemonade in my water to get it down. I hate the taste of plain water. It makes me nauseous. Thanks for your help :)