Why I Hate My Clean Hair
You guys, something pretty major happened last week. Yes, Osama’s dead, relations with Pakistan are fraught, and Michelle Obama’s dougie almost outshone her husband’s own stellar moves (in case you missed him on 60 Minutes)—but also, I got highlights. Don’t be mad!
Here’s what happened: Remember how a few weeks ago I was musing about a spring makeover? Well, that longing for a physical change grabbed me by the girly bits in a way that became distracting—nay, completely consuming!—and it just wouldn’t let go.
And the more pictures I saw like the one above—of beautiful women with gorgeous and golden-tipped locks (now known as “ombre” highlights)—the more convinced I became.
Here’s how I justified it: 1. I would find a natural-as-possible salon to do it at. 2. I would only do my ends, so the dye would never touch my scalp. 3. If I didn’t like it, or it looked too fake for my dark hair, I’d just give my mane a much-needed chop.
So I headed down to NaturalMind, a cleaner salon in Silver Lake that I’d heard great things about. And to my total delight the founder, Arnaud, who arrived on the L.A. hair scene by way of 20-years-at-a-fancy-salon-in-Paris knew exactly what to do with me. He touched my coarse curls and told me he would never use foils on them—never! And in a thicker-than-butter French accent, he said: “You came to ze right place. I‘ve been doing zis balayage technique in Paris forrrever. We make it a little bit surfer, yeah?”
Mmhmm. That’s exactly how we make it, Arnaud—like I spent a week on the beaches of St. Tropez, s’il vous plait. And with an artist’s skill—and an almost-odorless-and-heavy-on-the-natural-oils dye—he painted my highlights with the subtlety of the sun itself. And I love it!
But here’s where my story goes a bit south. My new favorite hairdresser also convinced me to wash my hair. Granted, with an ostensibly natural shampoo (I say that because even with the best intentions, one can never be sure at the salon), but a shampoo nonetheless. It felt like heaven and it smelled like lavender but…
Until last week, shampoo hadn’t touched my hair in two and a half years.
And there’s a reason for that. Not washing it, I realize now with even greater clarity, had given my hair something it never had: predictability. It also eliminated my need for product—aside from a tiny bit of conditioner and some Intelligent Nutrients spray for special occasions.
But now that it’s clean I’m back in the maintenance game. It’s not a total horror show or anything—it’s just really fluffy, puffy and frizzy. Mostly, it needs product. And the ends look dry. And the curl doesn’t hold in the same way. And, and, and—I just miss those natural oils I’d worked so hard to harness!
But, like a big girl, I’m not going to cry over my clean hair. I’m going to throw on my favorite natural products, follow Siobhan’s summer hair advice, and let time and my scalp do their thing. In a way, the wash is as much of a “new look” as the color—so there’s that. Maybe it will even become an annual spring-cleaning tradition of sorts. Or not.
Got any salon disasters or success stories to share? You know the drill, ladies.
Exactly what you just described is what holds me accountable to my baking soda and ACV (and a bit of oil) being the only things that go in my hair. The “starting over” that happens when shampoo (or even conditioner to some extent) isn’t worth the lather-y joy. I was just on the road for work and had to “water wash” because I forgot stuff. Not ideal, but workable. And the right decision, even though there was tiny hotel bottle of suds staring me down while I did it.
Also, I demand pictures!
I so envy you for being able to not wash your hair for two and half years! I can’t go longer than a week without using at least a castile soap shampoo – my hair just starts to feel gross. How does it take of not washing before you saw the benefits? I would love to be ablet to forego styling products…
I LOVE THIS POST!!!
I took a challenge on this site a few months ago and stopped washing my hair and body… Well, not completely… But now, I wash my hair and exfoliate my entire body on Sundays…. I still shower daily, but I just rinse down, put ACV in my hair and wash my face with baking soda and a drop of organic liquid soap.
I TOTALLY agree with you! Monday is my worst hair day. It’s clean. Clean and pooofy and it curls the wrong way and it’s staticy and has fly-aways out the wazooo!
As a side note, I too have been highlighting my hair. I drink a lot of lemon water, and every time I squeeze a lemon, I get lemon juice all over my hand… so I rub my hands together to spread it around and then run my fingers through my hair.
My hair now has a really natural, sun-kissed looking highlight to it and I LOVE it. If I’m heading out to my garden, I’ll add a little extra lemon to take advantage of the sun exposure.
Rock on! There are times when I want to use shampoo (I started on New Years this year) just out of habit, but I love how my hair always looks great! Or at least the same. I know about what I’m dealing with every morning, and it’s 98% goodness. The best part is that no one ever believes me when I tell them I haven’t used shampoo in almost 6 months. At least this time around your detox shouldn’t be that bad since you know what to expect!
I’ve just started not washing my hair. I made it two weeks the first time without washing (just using conditioner), and almost a month the last time. I was amazed last time at how much better my hair was before shampooing than after. Like you I needed to use styling products again, which I was able to forgo completely, and had lots of fly-aways and frizz.
I’m now about 2 weeks in again without shampooing, and am hoping to make it much longer without shampooing. Your post just inspired me to keep it up! I would love to go years without shampooing!
@Aileen I have not washed my hair for 2 months now. It took about 4 weeks of no washing to “look normal”. If you do it i suggest baby powder for oily days and a boar bristle brush to help distribute the oil. My hair now feels amazing, it has its own ‘natural’ mouse in it basically.. it holds a style or goes straight if i want it too. You hair to the touch will feel differently though, but that just take some mental adjustments.
I haven’t used anything but water on my hair for a year. I’m a guy who wears his hair short, around an inch to two inches long. With my oily scalp, it took around six to eight weeks to get to my new normal. It’s been the best thing I ever did for my scalp. I’ve found during travels, that hard water removes more oil than soft water, makes the hair feel softer. Also found, a little flakiness means I haven’t been brushing my hair enough. All in all, no plans to go back to commercial products.
I enjoy the Blog & Facebook.
i just found out that even josie maran cosmetics are not completely organic on the following site: http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/search.php?hq=josie+maran&search_group=everything&&showmore=everything&start=20
You could write a novel with all the salon disasters I’ve had! I’ve mentioned before, I have dark brown hair (and some grays) with lots of red undertones that aren’t visible until dye touches my hair. I’ve never been able to get highlights without them turning my hair orange and have had lots of problems with stylists not listening to me about it when I want bleached highlights. They would still use the normal highlight stuff, even though I would tell them endlessly to just put hair bleach on me because I wanted blond, not orange, streaks. And their not listening would result in several trips to get them to do it right, then my hair would be so damaged and it would look terrible. That is why I am so glad I found your book, and then your blog! You ladies helped me to accept how my hair is and to enjoy the beauty of its natural state. I get compliments all the time on my hair now and people are always surprised to hear that conditioner is the only thing that touches my hair!
And I totally know what you are talking about with the salon shampooing! Last time I got my hair cut the lady insisted she wash my hair, which made me paranoid that my hair stunk or something, so I let her (she was grossed out to hear that I hadn’t washed my hair in several months). Then, she put probably 7 styling products on it, so I had to wash it again when I got home to get all the crap out, then my hair was dry as hell for a while.
My disaster: In my process of getting clean I’d completely switched hair products I’d been devoted to for years. It was very emotional! I wanted to dump the dye and switch to henna, but it was going to take some research and I also wasn’t emotionally ready. So I decided to go for my very last dye job at my salon. I have dark hair and I’m covering grey so it’s probably pretty scary stuff, though I was never able to get the exact ingredients list from the Italian company that makes the dye my salon uses. I’ve always had dye stick to my skin, so my colorist would coat my face and neck with product to help with this. I had never had a reaction on my actual scalp from dye though. But guess what – though my hair looked gorgeous, my scalp sucked up the dye and I had a dark crust in some spots that lasted for about a week. Ugh! But at least it made me dedicated to making the henna switch!
My success: The henna/indigo mix is awesome for covering grey and leaving my hair looking great. I still have some tweaking to do to my process but I’m very happy.
Get with the coconut oil Alexandra, it will fix everything : )
Hilarious- I had totally started doing the lemon but got too impatient to wait. Woops. :)
My scalp is so OILY! I am oily within 12 hours of washing it. I went a whole week without washing it last week and it was so oily. I would love to not wash my hair, but I don’t know where to begin :( Let’s just say, my hair is so oily, I had a nickname in college because of it. What do I clean my super oily scalp and hair with, without washing it??? Thanks in advance :)
i switched to henna+indigo (and then to just indigo) after reading your book but i must admit i too caved this week and bought a bottle of good & dirty black dye.
ugh i just don’t know what to do! i know i should “accept my hair in its natural state” but i just loooooove the way it looks when it’s a soft black (i have very pale skin and already dark hair, but i crave that extra midnight kick – here’s a pic: http://bit.ly/lTKErO and p.s. that pic is post styling with the home-made beeswax+coconut oil pomade someone here suggested trying! i love it!).
the indigo got me the color i desired, but left my hair smelling TERRIBLE for about a week after each dye, and last time i did it i had a HORRIBLE allergic reaction and ended up with an itchy red scalp & neck for about a week.
everything else i use is just about as squeaky-clean as it gets, so i’m considering just embracing the 80/20 rule and going with the dirty dye for now since i only use it once every 2-3 months… thoughts?
Lindz — My hair/scalp is the same way, it took me about a month or so to stop being so oily. It takes a while for your scalp to get the message that it doesn’t have to make so much oil anymore, but once it gets the message, it’s great! When I “wash” my hair, I run some conditioner through it then get a bit more conditioner and massage my scalp with it. It seems to remove some of the extra oils without drying things out too much. I also agree with the previous poster about a boar bristle brush! I know the ladies mention in their book to use a wash cloth to spread the oils down the hair, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to happily devote the time to that, so I bought a boar bristle brush and it is awesome. Good luck!
Hi O, very pretty color on you! Indigo shouldn’t smell bad – like strong tea maybe. You might want to confirm the indigo you use doesn’t have other gross stuff added to it that you could have reacted to (some hennas/indigo have toxics, so make sure you get an all natural product). Also, what did you mix the indigo with? I think you are just supposed to mix it with water, as opposed to henna which you mix with an acid. And for those thinking of trying henna, don’t use ACV as your acid – that really does give a gross smell. I made that mistake and next time I’m going with lemon juice.
I want to see the highlights!
and yes, never wash it again! no matter what the stylist says, not ever! your curls are so amazing!
Good luck with your shampoo recovery, Alexandra. I’m curious – have you ever tried any of Lorraine Massey’s recipes from her book Curly Girl? Sounds like your hair might at least love her “Hair Dressing” spray: You just use an oil spray mister from a kitchen store, fill it with olive oil and (if you like) your favorite essential oil, then spray your hair lightly after it’s dry. A bit too rich for every day, but good every few days.
A lighter recipe is her “Glisten to Me” spray: Combine equal parts vegetable glycerine and distilled water in a spritz bottle and shake. Spray whenever your hair looks dull, or to revive the curls.
I don’t care how rediculous I look… I just bring my own Shampoo, Conditioner & Styling products to the salon when I go to get my Hair did :) Lol. I put them in travel bottles and bring them in my purse. I’d don’t want to ever go through Hair Detox EVER, EVER again! Lol. This is what I use… and it’s still like a Salon Shampoo & Conditioner, but it’s as clean as it gets. The best of both worlds!! Shampoo: http://theglamorganicgoddess.blogspot.com/2010/11/review-organic-excellence-wild-mint_02.html & Conditioner: http://theglamorganicgoddess.blogspot.com/2010/11/review-organic-excellence-wild-mint.html. PS-I’m an Ex-Panene addict & this is as close as it gets in the truly natural products world. :) xo <3
Post a pic!!
the highlights look great! man I JUST got the highlights from hell last weekend – i told the stylist “natural, very thin, non symmetrical, not too light” and she gave me platinum symmetrical thick streaks! (ok maybe not thaaaat bad- but I had to ask her to use toner to darken them up a bit) And so I tried to get used to them but I just couldn’t so today I researched the best botched-color fixers in my tiny little college town and now my hair finally looks amazing- it’s red but at least the highlights blend in more and look cute now. I learned- ALWAYS research your stylist, never just walk in because you’re bored!!
O, I don’t henna, but I’ve researched quite a bit and thought it over! How long do you have to wait after coloring your hair with henna to color with a traditional box color? From what I’ve read the two absolutely do not mix. If you haven’t waited the requisite time, maybe you might want to take a look at Palettes of Nature? I’ve never used this color either, but plan to when I need to start covering the grays (as opposed to plucking them). Terri Bly from Nature of Beauty has a glowing review of the color system on her blog–and you can even buy the products from her site. PoN is truly all natural and seems to be a whole lot easier and more predictable than henna.
Elizabeth– The two can certainly mix, if you use pure, good quality henna. The source of that rumor is the fact that some low quality henna products contain other ingredients which react disastrously with conventional hair color. But with pure henna, there should be no problem at all. Check out this site, not only for henna, but for an excellent tutorial on using henna (and indigo) for hair color: http://www.mehandi.com/
In all honesty, I should say that I am still using conventional hair color. :-O It is the one thing that I’m having a terrible time letting go of. I used henna years ago. The only reason I’ve been reluctant to return to it because it is a bit time consuming and, well, messy. But being a redhead (in my heart. even if it didn’t translate to my natural hair), it really would make sense for me to give it a try again.
Good luck!
I am totally on the bang wagon with everything else but I can’t seem to get over not washing my hair. I just don’t know if I can do it. I do break out along my hair line and chin area, maybe not using any product would help this? I don’t know. But I haven’t dyed my hair in almost 2 years. yay! I had to cut it shorter and I am loving how healthy it has become. The only problem is that I am really feeling like I could use some color. : ( My hair is the that brown mosey color and I would love to make it a dark chocolate brown. Does anyone have any suggestions on natural dyes. Experience with Henna?
@Rebecca thank you! i got my indigo from ayurnaturalbeauty.com and it was great the first time, but the second time it gave me that weird rash! very strange. i think i just mixed it with water, but you know, i’m not completely sure. maybe i’ll try again.
@elizabeth i’m not sure how long you have to wait! the thought never occurred to me! BUT i just used a trad. box color to no noticeable ill effect and it’s been about two months since i last colored (with indigo only, though, not henna). i haven’t tried nature of beauty, but maybe i’ll try that next. going back to the dirty dye has definitely felt like a giant step backwards. i dyed, rinsed with baking soda & acv and brushed a little argan through my ends and my hair feels great – very soft BUT that being said, i hate thinking about all the chemicals i washed down the drain just so i could have the hair i want :(
le sigh.
Beka- Thanks so much for your help and support. It’s funny how I used to feel so alone because my hair is so oily. I am going to try the detox. I may have to wait til the fall. We’ll see.
@Carley, try contacting the people at http://www.mehandi.com/ (also mentioned by B-Bopp). They have great info and customer recipes on the website and will help you over the phone. I got great advice and love the results of my henna/indigo. Start saving your hair that falls out (from brush or hairballs from the shower) so you can test different mixtures. I first tried a mix of half henna/half indigo, this last time did 1/4 indigo, and I get a nice dark brown over my natural medium brown and red highlights on my many greys.
How did you keep your hair clean? Did you use conditioner, just rinse it, or nothing at all?
I think once upon a time in your life, you have this feeling of wanting to change something especially the way you look. And I guess, you are pretty lucky, some women are experiencing hair loss. No more dirty hair.